Do you remember a time where you saw that person right in front of you, just beautiful, perfectly your type, and walking there? Your senses are immediately stimulated, heart beginning to beat a bit faster- and for a brief second… your eyes meet. In that second, the colors of your world become more vibrant than before and you can’t help but feel alive. You begin to smile and she reciprocates- you feel so at ease.
But as quickly as it all happened… it’s over. She walks past you and you’ll never see that person again in your life. Everything has once again become dull.
Chances are, if you’re a guy reading this, you’ve experienced this quite a few times.
I can relate.
Have you ever thought about- if during that split second, instead of allowing fear to stop you from taking that daring first step, what if, the second in which you both make eye contact, you took control of the situation, embracing the impending awkwardness and tried to see if this… person… who is making you feel all giddy, might have a connection with you?
Let’s take this back in time. It’s mid May in Oaxaca, Mexico. The streets are as colorful as a painting. The weather is slightly muggy. The streets are as lively as ever in the city square. I’m walking with my two new-made friends, Natalie and Tan. My time in Oaxaca was a great adventure; I have Tan and Natalie to thank for that.
I met Tan in the back of a truck on the way to Hierve El Agua– some petrified waterfalls in the mountainous areas surrounding Oaxaca city. We immediately bonded because we were both from Brooklyn, New York- the place where I was born and where he had lived for a few years. Tan had been travelling Asia and Latin America for a total of thirteen months. He entertained everyone within the vicinity with the epic stories born from his adventurous thirteen months of solo travel.
When I met Natalie, she had recently arrived in Mexico and had a lot of her stuff stolen by a scammer in Mexico City. She surprised me, although her situation was not fun to be in, she was always positive. Natalie was there whenever I needed a friend to binge mezcal with or have a fun time. Basically, Natalie is lit.
Our trio was set and we decided to begin the day by wandering aimlessly throughout the streets of Oaxaca. We chose to let fate decide what adventures we were taking today. Right before we made it to the city square, I spotted a girl walking past us. I only saw her from behind; she had great tan skin, long black hair. She was… alluring.
I got that giddy feeling inside me. But she’s walking quite fast. Maybe she’s in a hurry maybe she’s late to catch a bus maybe she’s going to meet a friend. I had thought through all the never-ending possibilities- not that I could coherently understand any of my thoughts anyway- but I actually was able to realize something.
I’m no psychic.
I had made this realization just in time to notice that she was now far ahead of me. I made the decision to go up and say hello. I told my friends of my plans; they smiled and said, “go for it.” Awesome! I had my friends approval. Now all that was left was to approach her and see where this all went.
Surprisingly, I felt no pressure. Even if I got rejected, I would still get the chance to hang out with my two dope friends I met only the day before.
So now you’re probably wondering what my “pick-up line” was. I’ve got to say something cool and interesting to get her to like me… right?
I walked up beside her, a bit ahead as to not creep her out by talking to her from behind.
“Hi, do you speak English?”
She responded in a German accent: “yes, actually, I do.”
Cool, we were able to communicate! I let her know why I stopped to talk to her, I told her that I loved the way she walked so confidently and her sense of style. Things went well. She told me that she was German, had been doing some long term travel, and that she was going to the market by herself. After telling me, I offered a proposition.
I invited Shay- that’s what she told me her name was- to wander around Oaxaca with my friends and I. I convinced her that it would be a lot more fun than going to the market by herself. She happily agreed.
I enjoyed her spontaneity and bubbly mood. She seemed excited to meet my friends.
Over the next few hours, I got to know a bit more about my new friend.
Most interesting was her vast knowledge of horoscopes.
I found it funny that a German would be so interested in astrological signs and how different ones interact.
Shay is a Scorpio, I am a Capricorn.
She told me that our two signs were complementary and vibed well. I let her know that she was quite silly and goofy for believing that.
Our group would spend the next few hours sightseeing, learning about each other, sharing stories, being goofy, and being grateful that all of us could all be together for that day despite coming from very different regions of the globe.
Eventually, the time came for Shay to part ways with our group as she was meeting friends in another part of the city. We all said our goodbyes for the day. Before she left, I made sure to exchange Instagrams and numbers, along with confirming our date in two days (getting pedicures).
What if, instead of saying hello earlier, I decided not to go walk after her and let the opportunity pass by? I probably would have been disappointed in myself for a while, hung out with my friends, and just had a fun time. Maybe I would have talked to another girl and vibed with her, or maybe she would have rejected me. Most likely I wouldn’t have been getting a pedicure in two days.
The thing is… no one knows!
I could have let my fear stop me from going to talk to her. I didn’t though, and because of it I had a fun day and met a cool girl that I found attractive. Taking that small step out of my comfort zone, was worth it.
Fun fact: we did go on our date, but that is a story for another day.