Long story short, I was looking for Robert Greene’s book with 50 Cent on Amazon. I found this book in March, and I recommend it. If you’ve ever read Sun Tzu’s Art of War or Niccolo Machiavelli’s The Prince, The Art of Seduction will read similarly. There were some things that I strongly disagreed against, but I’ve learned that there’s always a lesson to learn. (Shout out to that cute girl named Laurie who told me not to read this book. I clearly didn’t listen.) Do not view this novel as solely negative, prior to reading and analyzing it.
(Remember that a woman stands as the greatest seducer of all time. Cleopatra convinced Julius Caesar for an alliance, and made him believe that he was the reincarnation of Alexander the Great. No matter how much Caesar tried to pull away, he was always drawn back to Cleopatra and the fantasies she conjured. This book doesn’t exist to help you sleep around with the opposite/same sex. It exists to teach you how to use your own powers of persuasion.)
When you think of seduction, you probably think of a guy using some cheesy pickup lines at a bar to have a one-night stand with a girl. That’s what I kinda thought! Turns out, a little more complicated and intricate. (And that guy probably sucks.)
So let’s break down what Robert Greene says: “A seducer sees all of life as theater, everyone an actor” (Greene xxiii). Seduction is that powerful attraction that draws you closer to something. An actor can never be self-absorbed. He must put aside his own personal insecurities and form a persona to seduce the audience. This persona can draw from the actor’s personality, but should never breathe from his insecurities. Diving into this persona’s skin allows the actor (you) to have focused and individualized attention. Because you’re never trying to seduce one person, you’re trying to seduce the entire room.
Robert Greene categorized 9 ‘Seductive Character‘ profiles, and stated that everyone has a mix of the ‘Seductive Character’ profiles listed below.
- The Siren
- The Rake
- The Ideal Lover
- The Dandy
- The Natural
- The Coquette
- The Charmer
- The Charismatic
- The Star
Many of these ‘Seductive Character‘ profiles bleed into one another. You ARE a mixture of them, even if inadvertently. It’s beneficial for you to understand which one you are so that you can highlight it, and note down your strengths versus weaknesses. (If you’re in a board room, how do you pitch your product?)
“But, Kam, how do I seduce the guy/girl?” Man, I could offer classes.
You need to understand this VERY clearly: Robert Greene isn’t holding anyone’s hand throughout the book. He doesn’t pull punches, so he writes in a Machiavellian way: it’s cunning and, without remorse, advancing to the next step. If you’re comfortable knowing that, proceed.
Phase 1: Separation- Stirring Interest and Desire
- Choose the Right Victim.
- Create a False Sense of Security- Approach Indirectly
- Send Mixed Signals* (I’ll go more into detail about this below.)
- Appear to be an Object of Desire-Create Triangles
- Create a Need- Stir Anxiety and Discontent
- Master the Art of Insinuation
- Enter the Spirit
- Create Temptation
(You’re definitely going, “Oh shit, glad I didn’t date this guy. He seems like a psycho.” But think about the majority of people you actually dated. How many of those were successes [and I’m talking about positive, where you actually ended the relationship feeling content that it had run its course]? Why were they successes? What did you learn? That last question is crucial, for your personal growth.)
Phase 2: Lead Astray- Creating Pleasure and Confusion
- Keep Them in Suspense-What Comes Next?*
- Use the Demonic Power of Words to Sow Confusion*
- Pay Attention to Detail
- Poeticize Your Presence
- Disarm Through Strategic Weakness and Vulnerability
- Confuse Desire and Reality- The Perfect Illusion
- Isolate the Victim
Phase 3: The Precipice- Deepening the Effect Through Extreme Measures
- Prove Yourself
- Effect a Regression
- Stir Up the Transgressive and Taboo
- Use Spiritual Lures (For all you good Christians, I know what you do.)
- Mix Pleasure with Pain
Phase 4: Moving In for the Kill
- Give Them Space to Fall- The Pursuer is Pursued
- Use Physical Lures
- Master the Art of the Bold Move
- Beware the Aftereffects (Well, no shit Sherlock Greene. Have you seen the titles of your past sections? I’m feeling uneasy just typing them.)
…Well, there’s that.
In my opinion, this is useful. Read the book, Jessica Alba did! Use the sections most in tune with your personality, your ‘Seductive Character’. Then, put them into practice.
I recently went on a few dates with this girl (shocking, I know). She’s gorgeous with a charming smile, definitely smart, and seemingly independent. Winning on all levels, aren’t we?
My mind hasn’t been in the mood since February but I gave it a shot, and took her to this cute restaurant with books. I knew her to be a pretty cool person, and figured my time would be well-spent. Conversation did flow, but a little awkward in some areas. We had an enjoyable time overall, so I brushed it off as a ‘first-date’ fluke.
Conversation never really led anywhere; we hit dead-ends. Text messages would result in one-word replies. I chalked it up to over-analyzing, and my own mental state. Maybe there was physical attraction; we could be great friends, but there wasn’t a spark of romantic chemistry. (My roommates were genuinely surprised and laughing at me when I told them that the past two dates ended with side-hugs. Great times, thanks guys!) Not even a freaking wisp. Thankfully she was more honest and direct than I, and it ended. (If she ends up reading this, I could be punched across the face. I’ll accept it. On that note, you have amazing legs. My god, how much cross-country did you freaking do? But I digress.)
*(Note the asterisk because I’m about to explain the aforementioned asterisked things.)
There’s a point to this story. Could I have attracted this girl? Maybe, but in all honesty, she’s ridiculously smart and would’ve caught on.
“Send Mixed Signals”- Why is this necessary? Shouldn’t we be honest and direct? Yes, and no. Don’t confuse intentions with signals. Mixed intentions would be the guy trying to sleep with you, while telling you that he wants a genuine relationship. Or you know the old, “You can sleep here, we’re only going to cuddle with clothes on.” (I should’ve known before getting into that bed that she’d make a move. Freakin’ sophomore year, man. I just wanted food and sleep.) Mixed signals would refer to the ability in creating an intriguing aura. You want the person to be curious about you, to learn more.
“Keep Them in Suspense-What Comes Next?”- No, do not show up to her house with a boombox and your new mixtape. That would be weird. Think about this, because it should be a little obvious. Do you really want to stick to the same mundane routine? It bores you, especially because that job isn’t helping your excitement. (Unless you’ve had a mean chicken peck your hand because you tried to collect the eggs. Fuck you, I was just doing my job.) Simply put, doing something out of the ordinary adds a bit of spontaneity. Bring flowers on your next date? Hopefully, she’s not allergic.
“Use the Demonic Power of Words to Sow Confusion”- You read the word ‘Demonic’ and now you’re concerned. GOOD! See, people are always in their own thoughts, dreams, and desires. This is about seductive language, using conversation that they’d personally find pleasant and would respond to.
“Master the Art of the Bold Move”- GIRLS, you can make a move. No, seriously, MAKE THE DAMN MOVE. Consent is a necessity. Most guys, the ones who genuinely care about you (except me), question 20 different times on the perfect moment to kiss you. (I made that number up, but I think it’s right.) If you like the guy, take the plunge. It’ll just show him that you’re a boss ass bitch who knows what she wants. If he can’t handle that, oh well. Before making any bold move, both parties contemplate repercussions. If you’re willing to take the leap, push the negative aside. GUYS, don’t do anything douche-y. Simple, and elegant. GUYS AND GIRLS, overwhelming the senses are powerful. The ‘perfect kiss’, however, is like a sexy skirt: long enough to cover the necessity, short enough to keep the suspense. (Although, I do really like maxi skirts for some odd reason.)
I made myself ridiculously available through text, and my schedule was genuinely free. To me, it wasn’t a negative because I wasn’t actively pursuing this girl. Think about it. Do you really want the thing that takes no effort to achieve, or the reward that you have to struggle to get? There’s been actual psychological research on this! Think about the guy or girl that doesn’t give you the attention you want. You’ll naturally start to obsess over them because you neurologically treat it as a challenge. There’s a reward, a craving that needs to be satisfied. The rejection feels even worse, because you feel that you failed but there may be a chance for redemption. There could be a fear of social stigma, as a reaction to the rejection. Physiologically, rejection can make you feel sick and create hunger (absences).
“If you put your entire spice rack into the soup bowl, then you’ll lose the flavor.” -A wise man named Kam Singh. Cue the ‘Kam, you’re so full of shit. And yourself.’
All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed this book. This post was long. My mom probably worries about me. I swear I’m not on any drugs (yet). If you’re going to seduce someone, be smart about it. Don’t do dumb shit, make it a worthwhile relationship. If you have question, gripes, complaints, please do share. Or follow me!